𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓝𝓮𝔀𝓼

I have a tale to tell you that involves a very unlikely trio: Angela Rayner, a heartbroken man and a gerbil. Yes, yes, I know at the moment it sounds like a Daily Star front page, but just bear with me. There is an apocryphal story that has become Smiles family lore every time one of our children tries to swing the lead and stay off school. 

We talk about work ethic, how you have to be pretty ill before even considering a day off and then someone brings up the man who took a week’s leave after the death of his pet gerbil. Now, I will say this mythical anecdote had a dubious path in reaching me – and I would imagine Chinese whispers played a big part in its shaping – but, apparently, he had an “emotional connection” to the pet…

I was reminded of this sorry tale the other day when I read the latest update on the now infamous Workers’ Rights Bill, which could hand workers the right to have a paid week off work if their distant uncle dies. You know, the one whose only indication they’re still alive is when Facebook gives you a happy birthday reminder.

Anyway…I digress. Things have been rather quiet on the Angela Rayner front after she was given the chop as Housing Secretary for failing to pay the correct amount of Stamp Duty on her new property in Hove. But I’m going to make a prediction.

Far from being relegated to the backbenches, my bet is that she’s going to be wheeled out by Starmer to once again front her political brainchild: the Workers’ Rights Bill. Forget schmoozing with developers to hit the target of building 1.5 million new homes. Angela Rayner was always destined to be the modern-day Arthur Scargill in red lippy and a (free) ME+EM suit.

The Bill is currently passing through Parliament with, thank Goodness, the Government abandoning the ridiculous day-one unfair dismissal rights that would have seen even the biggest workshy blaggers granted instant protection from being given the boot. The new proposal sensibly shifts protection to after six months. But there are other problematic areas of the Bill, including encouraging all employees to become flag-waving union members and handing more power to Labour’s union overlords.

Make no mistake, Rayner’s DNA runs through this like a stick of Brighton (sorry, Hove) rock. And herein lies Starmer’s chance to bring her back to appease the rabid Left-wing of his party, a mission he already knows he must complete, saying just the other day that he wanted the “hugely talented” Rayner to make a return to government. 

If you ask me. a Cabinet Minister for a newly-created Department for Workers’ Rights fits the bill perfectly for all concerned – except maybe anyone who still believes in a hard day’s graft.