𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓝𝓮𝔀𝓼

Well It certainly puts Partygate into perspective, doesn’t it? A few illicit glasses of sauvignon; a slice or two of forbidden birthday cake… Boris Johnson’s lockdown shenanagins at No.10 are almost laughably trivial set against Mandelson’s monstrous mendacity. It’s easily the worst political scandal of our lifetime. Even Profumo pales in comparison with “Petey” and his oh-so-cosy years of creepy conspiracy with Jeffrey Epstein. Two genuine princes of darkness in it together up to their rotten necks.

I mention Profumo: he was practically a saint compared to Mandelson. John Profumo was of course the Secretary of State for War in 1963. He had an affair with the then 19-year-old Christine Keeler, who was simultaneously involved with a Soviet naval attache.

The threat to national security was always pretty thin – not much more than theoretical, in fact – but Profumo stupidly lied to Parliament about the affair, got found out, resigned, and spent the rest of his life atoning for his mistake, working tirelessly for charity. Not exactly in the same league as our Mandy, eh?

I struggle to think of dishonety to equal Mandelson’s betrayal of party, colleagues and country. Passing highly confidential cabinet decisions and policies straight to his paedophile friend in America. Accepting payments and favours from him, including a monthly standing order to his then-boyfriend, now husband.

Even Richard Nixon’s Watergate scandal (the origin of all those “gate” suffixes to subsequent wrongdoing) doesn’t come close to Mandelson’s perfidy and breathtaking immorality.

Yes, “Tricky Dicky” Nixon was a wrong ’un all right, sanctioning and then lying about a break-in at Democratic HQ in Washington in June 1972. Eventually a White House-organised campaign of illegal surveillance, dirty tricks and subsequent whitewash cover-up was exposed and Nixon was left with no choice but to resign.

But Watergate was a purely political piece of skulduggery. Mandelson’s betrayal is fundamentally financial and goes way beyond the narrow, dog-eat-dog world of party rivalry.

This week’s published Epstein emails paint a repulsive picture of staggering deceit and a total breach of faith. “Petey” was sending his ghastly friend the freshest of fresh government secrets – sometimes just seconds after he himself had been made privy to them – and he plainly took the Epstein shilling, free long-haul flights, lavish hospitality at the paedophile’s seedy, sex-trafficking homes, free clothes, foot-massages… and let’s be honest here, God knows what else.

Profumo never appeared in court. I’m certain Mandelson will. So here’s a piece of advice for him. Don’t forget your toothbrush, Mandy.