𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓝𝓮𝔀𝓼

“Don’t you just love it,” a beady-eyed veteran Tory chortles to me over a crisp glass of French white wine. “If you don’t, you don’t have a pulse.”

Peter Mandelson’s arrest barely two hours before our chinwag in the heart of Westminster undoubtedly had fuelled his jaunty appraisal of modern-day British politics. But he is, at least partly, right.

The Dark Lord having his collar felt by Scotland Yard came after personal finance guru Martin Lewis gatecrashed Kemi Badenoch on the GMB sofa and Reform UK’s Zia Yusuf set out how he plans to crush immigration.

It’s only Monday and the news vortex is spinning wildly. This is not unusual.

I personally blame two things – Brexit and Social media.

Brexit made every political argument binary. Nuance and lengthy, healthy debate appear to have been tossed into the River Thames.

Social Media has made everyone have the attention span of a gnat.

Living in Appland, we scroll through Prime Minister’s, leaders, party’s, policies at breakneck speed.

Tweetaholic Mrs Badenoch, who is pushing for a ban for kids, says social media is for adults, not for children.

Judging by some of the abhorrent postings – by adults – I’ve seen this week, why not ban social media full stop?

There was heartbreak in the Brown (this author, not the former Prime Minister) family home on Wednesday with the sad passing of our family cat. Lots of tears all round.

As if by some feline serendipity, I bumped into Larry, Downing Street’s Chief mouser, yesterday morning.

During his 15 years inside No 10 Larry has kept watch while six Prime Ministers have been and gone.

He could soon be onto his seventh thanks to the Green Party’s stunning Gorton and Denton by-election victory.

Labour’s demise in a seat it has held for almost 100 years piles even more pressure on lame duck Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer.

Shortly after the result and before I’d finished my 5am coffee hit, one Labour contact messaged with a twist on England’s famous 1966 World Cup winning commentary line: “Keir thought it was all over, it is now”.

At least the PM can look forward to the cheery prospect of Rachel Reeves updating us all on the nation’s economic forecasts when she delivers her Spring statement on Tuesday.

Remember, 12 months ago, this was an event which garnered weeks and weeks of coverage in the build up.

It has barely registered a flicker in 2026.

“A week is a long time in politics” is the famous phrase coined by Harold Wilson back in the analogue times of the 1960s.

After this week it’s time to check my pulse.