𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓝𝓮𝔀𝓼

It has often been said that Keir Starmer has a woman problem. Boy oh boy does he have one now. A triple problem. The Prime Minister was caught in the crossfire between three of Westminster’s most imposing matriarchs as all his worst nightmares converged. He already looked punch drunk as he entered PMQs just before noon on Wednesday.

That was because Angela Rayner had slotted him the previous night, warning that “time is running out” for the Labour party.

Red Ange, who has recently been doing a spot of moonlighting to help pay for a looming tax fine, is clearly limbering up for a crack at the top job.

“She and I both agree that this weak man should be replaced by a strong woman,” a bespectacled Badenoch ridiculed. Oof.

Another strong woman who could soon be gunning for Sir Keir is Home Secretary Shabana Mahmood. She too had been torched by the Rayner fire, over the government’s “un-British” immigration crackdown.

Mahmood hasn’t flinched, leaving Starmer wobbling like jelly on a plate. It’s only a matter of time before this all ends up with a mess on the floor.

Another politician with a woman problem is Green Party leader Zack Polanski. It’s fair to say his previous remarks about hypnosis helping women to believe they have bigger breasts haven’t gone down too well.

The “boob whisperer” attempted to shed that tag during a major speech on the economy earlier in the day, portraying himself as a serious politician with serious economic policies.

Zany Zack kicked off with an attack on Donald Trump’s “illegal war” in Iran. With that off his chest the tieless yoghurt weaver set his sights on the country we live in – “Rip Off Britain”.

Then he shook the magic money-tree, demanding £8.4billion from tougher “wealth taxes” on oil and gas firms funds to fund an energy bill bailout. Nature is the foundation of our economy under Zackonomics, apparently.

The eco-populist finished by saying that his party is “no longer on the fringes”. That is true. They are riding high in the polls and have just won the Gorton and Denton by-election.

But other polls show that Polanski’s policies, including the UK quitting Nato and the legalisation of all drugs, including Class A, are unpopular even with Green Party members.

After making his 40-minute economic pitch he took questions from journalists. First up, a question about women’s breasts.