𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓝𝓮𝔀𝓼

Have you noticed how often Keir Starmer and his dreadful, incompetent colleagues cite the name Liz Truss? They clearly think it’s some kind of dog whistle for the public to remind them of what a hash the Tories made of everything and why they deserve to be in the state they are now.

I am no fan of Liz Truss, and she unquestionably contributed to the Conservative meltdown, but she was prime minister for just 49 days nearly four years ago. Labour, meanwhile, has been in Government for nearly two years and has made a complete schmollocks of absolutely everything from the day they attained power. This country is in the mess it is because of Keir Starmer, the dreaded Rachel Reeves, Ed Miliband and co, not some woman who was in No 10 for just over a month.

Never mind, Labour’s punishment is on its way courtesy of the local elections. Let’s give it to them hard.

I am all for the more mature lady remaining as the centre of attention, but lordy lord, it must be exhausting being Madonna.

Age certainly hasn’t withered her: her most recent antics showed her strutting around in her knickers during Sabrina Carpenter’s Coachella set. I’m not advocating slippers and cocoa. But doesn’t the woman ever fancy a quiet night in?

The preposterous David Lammy has assured us, with a straight face, that Keir Starmer would have blocked Peter Mandelson’s appointment as ambassador to the US had he known that he’d failed the security vetting.

So Mandelson’s a bad ‘un? Whodda thunk?

It has been announced with some excitement that a robot has broken the human speed record for half marathons. Lightning the android ran 13.1 miles in Beijing over the weekend in 50 minutes and 26 seconds.

This was several minutes faster than the human world record holder, Uganda’s Jacob Kiplimo, who finished the same distance in March in Lisbon in 57 minutes and 20 seconds.

So blimmin’ what? A robot is a machine and can be built to surpass any number of human capabilities: you might as well say an airplane has broken human speed records.

Or am I missing something here?

Cornish locals are concerned: tourist numbers, that staple of their economy, are down, citing high costs, gridlocked traffic and crowded beaches as reasons for staying away from the county. These are the same locals who, a year or so ago, were calling visitors to the county “ants” and whinging about the impact holidaymakers were having.

Be careful what you wish for!

Regular readers will know that every week I look for an amusing quote to adorn this page: I hope you enjoy today’s from Oscar Wilde.

But I have come across another absolute corker, which I didn’t risk putting in the quote slot for fear anyone would think I was taking it seriously. Here it is: “I’ve spent all my life investing in women, can I finally invest in me?” – Meghan Markle.

Not, of course, investing in anything like her father, her in-laws, or anything else which is not in the direct interests of one M Markle. Have you ever read anything so wildly self-delusional in your life?

“I am not young enough to know everything” – Oscar Wilde

It had to happen: something called the “femosphere” has appeared in counterbalance to the “manosphere”, that realm in which inadequate men try to teach each other how to manipulate women. But really, there is nothing new in the world.

About 30 years ago, a book called The Rules appeared, declaring it contained “time-tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr Right”.

Essentially, it boiled down to one thing: play hard to get. That is exactly what the “femosphere” is advocating: make him work for it and don’t put up with bad behaviour. Perfectly good advice, incidentally.

The sexual revolution did a lot of women no favours at all.