𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓝𝓮𝔀𝓼

Remember that devastating political advertising campaign mounted by the Conservatives back in 1978 showing a long and winding queue outside a building labelled an ‘Unemployment Office’ with the slogan: “Labour Isn’t Working?” Events last week have clearly demonstrated the advert could be re-worked now minus the jobless, but with the amended line: “Labour Isn’t Listening.” Because the reaction to the “broadside” launched by Sir Tony Blair at the party concerning its lack of focus and “coherent plan” has only served to brilliantly underscore the points the former PM was making.

Regular readers of this column will not need reminding I am anything but a signed-up member of the Tony Blair Fan Club, but surely when the most successful living Labour Prime Minister (although there’s precious little competition!) and also the second longest serving post-war PM levels criticism of such magnitude, it’s at least worth listening? But here was the response. Sir Keir Starmer’s official spokesman said the PM remains “fully focused on delivering change for working people.”

Just words, as usual from a PM who drifts rather than delivers – and to bring in the idea of “working people” reminds us all of how he once struggled to define “working class” to me at a Labour conference a few years’ back. He told me they are “people who work” and “people who like to save and go on a holiday.”

Pitiful. And also, why talk of “change” in the same bland response? What “change,” how, when and to whom?

Surely the only “change” in the field of employment is an increase in the number of young people out of work and a calamitous increase in the amount spent on incapacity benefits?

All of which shows Blair was right when he said Labour was stuck in a precarious “comfort zone” and lacked a “coherent plan for the country.”

If the reaction from the current Labour leader was lacklustre, consider this from the man desperate to usurp him. Having at first suggested Blair’s 5,700-word essay deserved “a considered response,” within hours Andy Burnham had decided Blair is “not understanding what’s going on.”

All of which validates the view that the Labour Party is an odd beast. It seemingly venerates glorious failures such as Michael Foot and Neil Kinnock, while viewing success stories such as Tony Blair, who actually got them into power, with contempt. All hail the valiant Socialist heroes, rather than the ‘sell-out’ zeros that delivered electoral triumph.

And therein lies the problem at the very heart of the Labour project: it is an uneasy alliance of disparate forces that, on many occasions, actively loathe each other. Make no mistake, the Conservatives can and often are equally riven, but their insatiable and sometimes unsightly craving for power means they can at least keep up the façade of unity a little longer.

If Andy Burnham triumphs at next month’s by election, it is sure to set off another battle for the leadership – and heart – of Labour as he slugs it out with the beleaguered Starmer.

And the fact the only person who can recognise the party’s potential demise is someone who was in office nearly 20 years ago, shows the state Labour, and regrettably therefore the country, is truly in.

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Sir Keir Starmer has delivered on his promise to “smash the gangs.” However, it’s his own!

Here is the former first minister of Scotland photographed as she is leaving her home. While you can note she is carrying a £747.50p designer bag as she passes an £81,277 Jaguar I-Pace which was funded in part with £57,500 courtesy of her estranged husband Peter Murrell’s outrageous embezzlement of SNP funds, her £425 pendant was possibly left on a shelf in her £1,946 ‘fitted’ library close to the £2,618.16p designer Lalique salt and pepper grinders, also paid for by stolen loot.

Meanwhile, the £124,550 luxury motorhome also paid for by Murrell’s crooked dealings would have been parked up at her mother-in-law’s – about which the permanently chippy Ms Sturgeon also, à la Fawlty Towers’ Manuel, “knew nothing.”

But here’s the thing: while she might well not have known, did it never occur to her to ask how her hubby came by his £400,000 booty?

Calamity Khan’s at it again!

Question: who would you listen to about the safety of citizens in London? Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Mark Rowley, or ‘night Mayor’ Sir Sadiq Khan who continues to tell us how safe the city is despite the continual emergence of videos showing youngsters attacking each other with machetes or knives?

Advanced crime fighting software from a firm called Palantir has been blocked by Khan with a statement explaining: “The Mayor expects that Londoners would only want to see public funding go to companies that share the values of the city.”

This is clearly because Palantir software is being used by Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officers in the US. However, the Met responds this will give a clear advantage to “hostile states and organised criminals.”

As Calamity Khan potentially puts its citizens’ lives at risk while indulging in student politics, consider yourself most fortunate if you don’t live in London.

Shameful indictment

As the toll of deaths during the May heatwave grew, it was revealed 33% of adults in the UK cannot swim 25 metres (about 28 yards) without assistance.

This is a shameful indictment of our lamentable lack of PE in schools.

Marmalade at the ready

It was revealed last week the next Paddington movie is to be scripted by ‘Veep’ and ‘The Thick of It’ creator Armando Iannucci. Probably fair to suggest then that the hugely lovable bear will need more than a dollop of marmalade to handle some of his new lines!

Is anyone surprised?

A TV show where people entirely unknown to each other were encouraged to flirt and then marry “at first sight” and allegedly have sex turns out to be a tawdry disgrace that shames the entire industry.