𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓝𝓮𝔀𝓼

They’re jumping the gun. The voters of Makerfield might still have something to say about that. If Nigel Farage’s Reform UK were to win instead, it would send shockwaves through Westminster. It’s unlikely, but can’t be ruled out. Labour MPs would rather not think about that. The thought of being lumbered with Keir Starmer for another three years strikes them stiff with fear. Besides, it’s always exciting when a new boss is on the way. They’ll be handing out prizes to loyal followers, and MPs are already clamouring for their share.

If Burnham replaces Starmer, we can expect a major cabinet reshuffle. While he hasn’t made his mind up yet – and even if he had, the King of the U-turn would probably change it tomorrow – some big names are already in the frame. Controversial names too. In fact, it’s beginning to look like a rogue’s gallery. Perhaps the most controversial is Ed Miliband, who’s already gone rogue as energy secretary under Starmer. He’s desperate to become chancellor, where he could cement his grip on Labour and test his net zero ideology to destruction.

Ed doesn’t believe he’s inflicted enough damage on the UK yet. We still have some industry left, although not much. Miliband is keen to finish the job. He also wants to make sure we never drill for North Sea oil and gas again. He’d rather put our energy security in China’s hands while buying jet fuel and diesel from Vladimir Putin. I dread to think what damage he’dinflict if he took charge of the entire economy. Increasingly, Burnham seems to dread it too.

Miliband is the ultimate loose cannon. Burnham fears he’d blow his time in Number 10 to pieces by blowing up the economy and refusing to be reined in. Unlike Burnham, Miliband doesn’t do U-turns. Once installed, Burnham won’t have the strength to stop him. The economic fallout will blow dithering Andy away. And he’s not the only troublemaker Burnham will have to accommodate. He’ll also have to find room for Angela Rayner, who brings controversies of her own.

She’s determined to wreak revenge because Starmer forced her to resign. But it wasn’t the PM who made a mess of her stamp duty tax bill. That was Rayner’s doing. HMRC went soft on her, but some of the mud will stick. Like Miliband, she’s no slouch on policy. She pushed through her Employment Rights Bill despite repeated warnings that it will destroy jobs and harm the very people it’s supposed to help. And she’ll keep pushing Labour further to the left once back in the cabinet.

Burnham won’t be able to stop her either. He isn’t exactly an immovable object. She’ll quickly elbow him aside. We don’t know what job he’ll give her, but it will have to be a big one, whether he likes it or not.

Burnham will also have to accommodate another backer, former Transport Secretary Louise Haigh. She was forced to resign under Starmer after making a fraudulent claim that her mobile phone had been stolen. Again, she always seemed angrier at the PM than herself. Incredibly, she’s now being touted as some kind of economic genius. The bar is set very low in Labour. Just mutter the magic words “More tax” and you’re halfway there. The other half is “More spending.”

Bringing Rayner and Haigh back from disgrace won’t be a good look, but Burnham has no choice. His cabinet will soon look more like the rehabilitation wing of the Labour Party. With this gang of rogue operators bossing the country, we’ll be begging for Starmer to come back. Although thinking about his freeloading and lust for freebies, the PM doesn’t have clean hands either.