𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓝𝓮𝔀𝓼

Two things are glaringly obvious as one reads the ‘Please migrants, no sexual assaults while you’re here’ booklet being handed to asylum seekers on their arrival in the UK. Firstly, that the nine-page Home Office document is an implicit admission that some would-be immigrants are, de facto, potential sex offenders. Secondly, the assumption that they will even read the damn thing. Which many won’t, and many won’t be able to anyway – because it’s printed only in English.

It is an extraordinary document. As statements of the bloody obvious go, hard to beat. ‘Never try to have sex with someone who is asleep, drunk, or unable to consent clearly… if you have sex with someone who does not want to, this is called rape. Rape is a serious crime.’

Again, the assumption being that some men reading this (if they can, or if they can be bothered) need to be enlightened on these matters. And the further assumption that if they do, then this little pamphlet will be sufficient to persuade them to change their ways.

In another section, the pamphlet reads: ‘Sex with someone under the age of 16 is a serious crime in the UK. There are no exceptions to this rule. Even if they say yes, it is still illegal. You could go to prison, lose your support and accommodation, and it will affect your asylum claim.’

Note the ‘could’. Not ‘will’. Note also the ‘affect’. Not ‘negate’. Hard to disagree, then, with Shadow Home Secretary Chris Philp when he said: “The fact that illegal immigrants need a booklet telling them not to rape children shows they are not the kind of people we want in this country.”

For a long time now, families uneasy or downright scared about the sudden parachuting of young migrant men into their communities – men often from cultures that are very far from matching ours or our laws – have been dismissed as scaremongers and bigots.

This extraordinary pamphlet proves their concerns were and are entirely reasonable. They are owed an apology.

Is any look beyond her?

I’ve always thought there’s something of the chameleon about Margot Robbie. Her entire appearance, including her face, seems to mutate into whatever the role she’s inhabiting demands.

She looked totally different as Sharon Tate in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood compared to, say, Barbie. And just this week, photographed in Paris as she films the prequel to slick Ocean’s Eleven, she appeared pure 196Os chic in mini-dress, black hat and Chanel bag. Is there any look that she can’t pull off?

Absolutely ridiculous

I’ve heard of clickbait, but this is ridiculous. So called social media ‘influencers’ are vying for the most ‘likes’ they can get by… swimming with sharks. Big ones. With big teeth.

They post videos online of themselves swimming alongside sharks, patting them, and even trying to ride them. A surprise surprise, they’re getting bitten. Badly, in some cases. One man almost lost his leg; another lost both hands; and there’s been at least one death. Mad.