𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓝𝓮𝔀𝓼

There should be a word describing an argument which destroys itself in the very act of making it. Because that is what Argentina does every time it raises its nasty, childish and slightly fascistic claim to the Falklands. Those Brits and their colonial oppression… oh hang on. Argentina (the ‘land of silver’ remember) is a fake country built on the extermination, enslaving and exiling of the indigenous Guaraní, Querandí and Mapuche peoples by their Spanish colonial masters.

Interestingly, English adventurer Sebastian Cabot was brought in by friendly Spanish King Ferdinand and played a key role in the occupation so, if we’re going the full-on colonial, one could actually make a decent claim that Argentina is actually English. Of course that would be ridiculous. Or precisely as ridiculous as Argentina’s claim on the Falklands – islands which have been British sovereign territory for 200 years and a place where all but three of the inhabitants voted to stay British as recently as 2013.

But former populist President Javier Milei’s stock is falling at home (his approval ratings down 30%) so his Rottweiler foreign minister Pablo Quirno has been wheeled-out to tiresomely weaponise Las Malvinas once again. And, shamefully, their idiot footballers have been cynically co-opted.

What did they think they were doing parading that Las Malvinas banner after their victory on the pitch against England on Wednesday night? (I seriously don’t fancy the chances of Spurs captain Christian Romero, Chelsea’s Enzo Fernandez or United’s Lisandro Martinez at away games next season, or home games for that matter, but I digress).

These scumbags are happy enough to take all England has to offer in terms of adulation from the fans and Premiership wages but, with this childish, unpleasant display, have shown themselves to be little more than pathetic pawns of their government.

FIFA should of course hammer these millionaire popinjay players – but don’t hold your breath. There is a well publicised (not so unlikely) conspiracy that FIFA needed Argentina and Messi to win the World Cup, and last time the Argentina team paraded a Malvinas flag at a game (Slovenia 2014) they were fined the crippling sum of £20,000. About a day’s wages for most of the players.

And so once more an Argentina politician tries to make a name for himself. Laughably an awfully angry Mr Quirno yesterday also accused a British warship of making an “illegal incursion” into its territorial waters.

The alleged incident happened a fortnight ago when HMS Medway, a River-Class offshore patrol vessel transited through Argentine waters, but, hey, who would have given a monkey’s then eh Pablo? No, best wait for an England-Argentina game to properly whip-up that anti-British hate. And neither does it matter that the British government apparently insists the Argentines were alerted to Medway’s movements in advance of the trip. What matters is political point scoring.

It’s troubling isn’t it? Ask a British kid about the Falklands and they will look at you nonplussed, you might as well be asking about the Crimean War. But over in Argentina the perceived and wholly incorrect grievance over the Falklands – and the accompanying hatred of the British – seems to be passed down the generations.

And that is what the Argentina players did after their on-pitch victory – made the world that little bit more hateful. Yes, they gave us a bit of a lesson in football. Then they turned the beautiful game into a nasty political spectacle unworthy of them.

And the Falklands are still British.