𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓝𝓮𝔀𝓼

Cor blimey, PMQs has got a bit saucy since the new Sheriff rode into town. All innuendos and sexual body parts. Carry On Nurse….more like Carry On up Big Ben.

It began with an allusion about Andy Burnham’s stamina and ended with the pink-cheeked Labour leader answering a question about penises and vaginas. Ooh err missus!!

I bet the King of the North didn’t expect that for his first-ever Prime Minister’s Questions when he tucked into his “Full Manchester Breakfast” this morning.

Burnham opened proceedings by joking about his three-plus hours at the dispatch box the day before, boasting it was the longest opening statement in modern history.

Kemi Badenoch then congratulated the new PM on his “stamina”. “Three hours”, she said, giving a suggestive side glance, as MPs roared with laughter.

Randy Andy gave a little smirk to that one before proceeding to spend the next 10 minutes doing exactly what he promised he wouldn’t do – futile political point scoring.

Ever since he ousted that poor sap Sir Keir Starmer from No 10 South, Burnham has promised to do things differently. Keep things clean, no cheap shots at his rivals.

But the Manc-scousian couldn’t help himself, snapping at Mrs B for sacking a Shadow Chancellor (Mel Stride) who criticised Liz Truss’s infamous 2022 Budget for someone (Andrew Griffith) who helped write it.

The Makerfield MP also spent a lot of time saying “Yes”. Yes to meetings with all and sundry covering everything from fossil fuels to wildfires and speaking about sex.

But try as she may, Mrs Badenoch couldn’t get a straight answer out of the PM on the big issues facing Britain – worrying government borrowing costs, defence spending and whether there’s going to be any tax rises in next month’s Budget.

Burnham, who appears to live in some kind of Manchester fantasyland, spent the rest of the session name-checking his favourite city.

That was until Samantha Nibelett piped up.

The Labour backbencher, who launched the “Yes Sex Please, We’re British!” campaign earlier this year, asked the PM to meet with her to talk about the stigma associated with speaking about “sex and body parts like penis and vagina”.

Burnham hesitantly rose to his feet, accepting the invitation before exclaiming that her summer had been “clearly more exciting than mine”.