𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓝𝓮𝔀𝓼

French verbs were being conjugated under one tree, Keats’ ‘Ode to a Nightingale’ being discussed under another and the radicalism of the economic policies of John Maynard Keynes explained while sheltering behind the cricket sight screens. It was the summer of 1976 and my sixth form studies had begun – with important end-of-term exams looming. Away from school, commuters still stoically packed onto trains, most of which had zero air conditioning, as the tarmac on our roads melted and if you travelled anywhere in a car you had the distinctly unpleasant experience of having to peel yourself from the sticky plastic seating.

But guess what? We all carried on, with the only exemption permitted in those exams was students being allowed to loosen (not remove though!) their neckties – and that heatwave lasted 15 consecutive days! Wind the clock on to today, and the nation is gripped by a self-imposed crippling paralysis of fear. An absurd sense of national panic fed by many radio and TV bulletins telling us we are approaching some apocalyptic doom.

That in turn has fuelled “tens of thousands of people” calling the NHS for heat advice, the BBC excitedly reported. Time was it would be drink plenty of water, wear a hat and don’t go out in the direct sun.

In addition, train services are cut, people are urged to work from home (Dear Lord, we’ve only just got most of them back to the damned office in the first place!), military drills are suspended and hundreds of schools are shut or opening for restricted hours.

And it is the last of those craven submissions that must be the most puzzling and disturbing. Has nothing been learnt from the disastrous policy regarding the closing of schools during the Covid pandemic?

It is a documented fact that the number of young people in some age groups seeking help for mental or emotional health issues soared by more than 50% after their schools were shut. Why would we want to repeat that?

And how on earth is closing the schools going to help these children with their education? In many cases their homes are likely to be as hot, if not hotter, than the schools and once at home, they’ll be battling with dad making business calls, mum on Zoom as well as overheating or squabbling brothers or sisters.

Their emotional health compromised, their education non-existent – and we’ve not even touched on the phenomena that is Emotionally-Based School Avoidance (EBSA) which has seen over 175,000 pupils marked as “severely absent” in the last school year. Imagine how this shatters the fragility of getting those students back behind their desks.

One final aspect these teachers neatly overlook is that when they decide to close, childcare must be arranged and sometimes that means a whirlwind of calls and pleading messages to family, mums’ girlfriends etc who, in turn, often have to leave their places of work.

A NHS physiotherapy unit in the Midlands had to close one afternoon last week as most of the staff had to return to being parents not physios and collect their children from neighbouring schools that announced, THAT morning, an early closure. (By the way, they close the schools around noon or 1pm. Have they not heard about ‘Mad Dogs and Englishmen’ at that particular time of day?)

No one is suggesting staff or pupils work in dangerous conditions. But if school is about anything other than learning, it must be about resilience and overcoming problems. Let’s get industrial air con units into the schools, re-work the school day to start earlier and, over time of course, look to make our schools ready for this weather, which looks like being the new norm. Anything other than that level of determination is a betrayal of our youth.

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If they think “spiteful class warrior” is bad, they should hear what we call them!

With a sense of grim inevitability, we seem to be weeks away from a politician who has TWICE been rejected as leader of his party and absent from Westminster for over a decade becoming our next Prime Minister.

As this stomach-churning picture of Andy Burnham posing with his leering Labour supporters demonstrates, he is now seen as the perfect man to come to the aid of the party.

Well, the truth has almost been nailed.

“He’s not the Messiah, just a very NORTHERN boy!”

Nothing so sinister

Much excitement when I was quizzing Reform UK’s Nigel Farage about that £5 million gift and what he had done, or would do, with the loot and he responded he “could buy a fleet of Ferraris, if I wanted to!”

A couple of commentators hinted darkly I’d wormed my way into his subconscious. Truthfully, nothing so sinister I sense.

His partner is Laure Ferrari.

Riddle me this

The news the grooming gang scandals inquiry is to begin by examining events in Oldham, Bradford and London must come as quite a shock to London’s Mayor Sir Sadiq Khan. As recently as last year he was saying there was “no indication” of gangs in the city.

Surely it’s time…

As the Attorney General Lord Hermer maintains Labour is “determined” the calamitous Chagos islands giveaway goes ahead, is there any chance he could depart alongside his close friend Starmer?

Time to legislate!

The week before last images of the man destined to be our next Prime Minister were beamed around the globe showing Andy Burnham standing between a man dressed as a dustbin and another as a giant fox.

Last week, Sir Keir Starmer’s justified attempt to resign with dignity was drowned out by that pro-EU bore – who I won’t be naming – playing music at full blast.

Time to put in legislation that pulls the plug on that dreary dud for good.