𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓝𝓮𝔀𝓼

There’s a new renewable power supply in London, if only we could slap a motor on the fast spinning weathervane of Downing Street. If someone could get Ed Miliband out of his gas guzzling jet long enough to ask if he approves, I reckon he would. Yet with the Budget just days away, the markets may be less pleased. All they want from regular bloke Andy Burnham is consistency. Spook those chaps in the City and we all pay in our mortgage. We all remember Liz Truss, the wilting vegetable “brought low by the banks”… and those damned consequences of her own choices.

So you might expect Mr Burnham to spend this decisive week steadying the ship. But no, our man Andy has been doing those dead normal things proper blokes do. He’s been on Celebrity Gogglebox with his old pal Steve Rotheram, welling up for Stand Up To Cancer.

A worthy cause, no doubt. If only he knew someone in power who could help charities, and provide such noble causes with the funding they desperately need?

Back from the telly, he took to the timeless presuit of slapping his own Cabinet about. The weekend papers suggest he may press ahead with the Rosebank oilfield.

Now that’s the wicked project his Foreign Secretary once branded “climate vandalism” when he was in his eco-phase as energy secretary. Ed Miliband no doubt had a face like a sla—looked a little shocked when he heard the news.

To be fair, that’s not far different from the normal expression of simplicitude plasted across his mug most days. I am normally all for ignoring everything Mr Miliband says unless it is “I resign”, but drilling for oil is a sound decision on any day of the week.

But even the right call looks rickety when it is made on vibes. Yet under this government vibes are the house style.

Planning to scrap standing charges on gas bills? Announced first, with the Chancellor and Energy Secretary sent off to find the sums afterwards.

Brexit? Respected or not, depending on which day you asked. Before you pity Mr Burnham juggling all these plates, remember he wanted this job and fought hard to get it.

The plates are in the air and the bat of blame is being waxed. By Budget day we will know upon whose backside it lands first.