𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓝𝓮𝔀𝓼

Keir Starmer doesn’t normally do angry. I mean, it must be difficult for someone so wooden and devoid of passion to express any kind of emotion. So it was a complete shock to witness the Prime Minister cast aside his typical Spock-like demeanour and get riled. This extremely rare incident came at the end of a rather humdrum PMQs.

Sir Keir, knuckles whitening as he gripped his folder and eyes flickering, trudged towards Sir Lindsay Hoyle like one of those bizarre humanoid robots you see on social media.

What had irked the usually mild-mannered dullard, I hear you ask? Maybe it was Kemi Badenoch’s saucy gag about a Labour MP and sex toys. Perhaps it was Donald Trump’s latest broadside at the PM and the “sad” state of the UK-US special relationship.

Or could have been another humiliating blow for Labour’s economic capabilities after the IMF said we’re in for a very bumpy ride over the next two years.

What really got on Sir Keir’s wick, it seems, was being scolded by the Commons Speaker midway through his exchanges with the Tory leader for not answering questions properly.

A somewhat subdued Mrs Badenoch had been grilling her opposite number over his failure to bolster Britain’s defences. In particular, she chided Sir Keir over remarks by Lord George Robertson, the ex-Labour defence secretary and former Nato chief, in which he warned that Britain cannot be defended with an ever-expanding welfare budget.

This tipped the PM into one of his typical diatribes about the Tories, triggering Sir Lindsay to cut him off mid warble.

“Prime Minister, this is Prime Minister’s Questions, we have got to concentrate,” he warned.

Sir Keir gave him a glare that wouldn’t have knocked the skin off a rice pudding.

Earlier, Mrs B had set pulses racing as she took aim at Labour MP Samantha Niblett, who said she hopes to bring sex toys into Parliament as part of her campaign for more open, inclusive and lifelong sex education.

The Tory leader said: “This is a moment of profound national seriousness, and what are they doing? They’re promoting sex toys in Parliament. It gives a whole new meaning to fiddling while Rome burns.”