𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓝𝓮𝔀𝓼

The House of Commons is in recess, meaning MPs have returned to their constituencies. At the same time, the sun has been out all week.

It’s the perfect combination for the small army of staff who work in Parliament despite not being politicians. Strict rules about using the Commons terrace are relaxed during recess, allowing researchers, catering staff and office managers to enjoy sitting outside with a view of the Thames.

The only caveat is that the bars have closed, so there’s no chance of a sneaky afternoon pint. With the MPs away, their famous Strangers bar transformed temporarily into an ice cream parlour instead.

Of course, staff brought their laptops with them as they made the most of the good weather, because the work never ends.

Keir Starmer had two big issues to talk about in recent days. On Tuesday, he met the bereaved parents of children whose deaths have been linked to social media.

Conservatives, Lib Dems including former Play School presenter Floella Benjamin (now a member of the House of Lords) and a few Labour politicians have been calling for the Government to introduce tougher age restrictions, or simply to ban under-16s from using social media entirely.

Sir Keir said: “We will be decisive, because it’s absolutely clear to me that we need to take action to protect children, and we can act quickly.”

That’s a very heavy hint that a big announcement is coming soon – either a full-blown ban or something close.

Then, we had the launch of Alan Milburn’s review into young people who are doing nothing with their lives. Again, the Government suggested a big announcement is on its way, although this one may take a bit longer to arrive.

This is all designed to demonstrate that Sir Keir is still in charge, still running the country and still getting things done “despite the chaos”, as Number 10 officials privately refer to all the leadership speculation.

But anything the Prime Minister does is inevitably overshadowed by the soap opera currently gripping Labour. The party has, bizarrely, decided to follow the example of the last Conservative government and hold a self-indulgent leadership battle.

Keir Starmer’s friends say he is “frustrated” by the decisions of Wes Streeting, his former health secretary, and Andy Burnham, the Labour Manchester Mayor, to campaign for his job. You have to wonder if that’s the polite version.

And former Prime Minister Tony Blair decided to stir the pot this week, with a lengthy essay attacking Sir Keir’s government – while also sticking the knife into Mr Burnham, for being left-wing, and Mr Streeting, for wanting to rejoin the EU.

But Number 10 officials point out that there is, officially, no leadership contest. Neither Mr Streeting nor Mr Burnham have gone the whole hog and officially launched leadership campaigns.

And here’s the thing – despite all the hype and speculation, it may never happen.

Andy Burnham can only launch a leadership bid if he becomes a MP in the Makerfield by-election on June 18 and, while polls suggest he will probably win, it’s going to be close. Reform could emerge victorious, and end his hopes of becoming Prime Minister for good.

Mr Streeting, on the other hand, is already a MP, so he can create a leadership contest if he convinces 80 Labour MPs to sign his nomination paper. But nobody at Westminster really knows if he has enough support to do it.

A big difference between the Conservatives and Labour is that Labour MPs who want a new leader need publicly to sign a piece of paper. Tories could write private letters in the knowledge that their names would never be made public, whereas Labour MPs need to come out of the closet, risking criticism from colleagues and party activists.

Labour’s divisions would make a fine television drama, but a work of fiction would end with a neat denouement. In real life, there may not be a conclusive ending.