‘I make people laugh but I couldn’t make myself smile’


Catherine MooreBBC News NI

Serena Terry images Ms Terry is sitting on a light blue chair. She is looking at the camera with a confused expression. She is wearing a black and white checked t-shirt, yellow tie and green waistcoat and trousers. She has long blonde hair. It is a PR promo image.Serena Terry images

Serena Terry said she was in the “depths of depression”

Serena Terry is well-known for her brutally honest stand-up comedy.

But after selling out her previous two UK and Ireland tours and becoming the first female comedian to sell out Belfast’s SSE Arena in 2024, she found herself in the “depths of depression”.

“A big part of my job is making people laugh, but I couldn’t even make myself smile,” she said.

When her tour ended last year, Ms Terry, known on TikTok as Mammy Banter, said it was as if her “entire body and mind just went ‘we can relax now, we can break down now'”.

‘Depths of depression’

“It was that debilitating stage where I couldn’t function,” she told BBC Radio Ulster’s Good Morning Ulster.

The only thing she could do was “hide it from [her] children”, she said, adding that she would take them to school and get back into bed until it was time to pick them up.

She got to the stage where she “didn’t want to do anything”.

“I checked out completely of social media, of any career in comedy, I wasn’t being social or seeing friends,” she said.

“I was literally just getting by day by day.”

On Tuesday, Ms Terry shared a video on social media explaining what had been happening.

She said she had planned to start posting more consistently ahead of her upcoming 2026 tour – but she wanted to be honest first.

“I hope nobody was looking at my social media going ‘oh my god I wish I could be where she is’ because they had no idea I was at the depths of depression and that’s what’s so dangerous about social media.”

ADHD diagnosis

Serena Terry images A picture from behind Ms Terry on stage. The audience are facing the camera but are in slight darkness. Ms Terry is facing them, wearing a pink jacket and she is standing in the spotlight. Serena Terry images

Ms Terry said she was preparing for her return to the stage

For Ms Terry, a turning point came with a diagnosis of combined Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

ADHD was first recognised in adults in 2008, eight years after childhood ADHD was formally recognised through National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) in most of the UK NHS (England, Wales, and NI).

“Whereas I thought ADHD was being hyperactive, hyperactive is just one type. There’s also inattentive โ€“ so I have a combined type where I’m more inattentive,” Ms Terry said.

“It turns out that during peri-menopause as your oestrogen fluctuates it heightens the symptoms of ADHD, mainly emotional deregulation, and breaks down any coping mechanisms you’ve had up to that point.”

Back on stage and ‘ready to go’

Her diagnosis has been “absolutely life-changing”, Ms Terry said.

She had been on anti-depressants but has come off them and is “correctly medicated” for her diagnoses.

“It’s made so much sense to me in terms of how I personally manage my day to day,” she added.

“With the medication I have so much cognitive clearance.”

Just as she was getting back on her feet, Ms Terry was then hit with a number of challenging life events.

Her best friend died of breast cancer, her marriage ended, and her dad was also diagnosed with cancer.

She said she had spent the past month “regrouping”.

“I’ve been pulling my big girl pants up and I am ready to go again.”

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this story, information and support can be found at the BBC’s Action Line website.

Leave comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked with *.