𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓝𝓮𝔀𝓼

I do not write much about economics – I leave that to my husband – but amid all the anguish about what John Healey should do in the next Budget, the answer is obvious: cut taxes and cut public spending. Two facts that look unrelated but are all part of the problem have emerged: one pub a day is shutting, and doctors are warning that cases of ADHD and autism are being massively overdiagnosed.

The first of these is that Labour’s tax rises have made it more expensive to hire people – thanks to that nincompoop Rachel Reeves – and the second is that this is leading to massive hikes in the number of people claiming benefits.

Reverse those two elements, and you will start to see growth push through. And in addition – and this one really is from my husband Justin – get rid of stamp duty in the housing market.

Not only will this kick-start transactions, but when people buy new homes, Justin points out they start putting in new kitchens and bathrooms, buying furniture and so on. That will lead to the relevant companies seeing a rise in profits, paying more in corporation tax, which will make up for the shortfall in stamp duty, and you’ve got a growing economy. But will the Chancellor take note?

Yuck

Tobey Maguire was married to Jennifer Meyer for 13 years, and the couple had two children before splitting in 2020. Jennifer has now married billionaire Geoff Ogunlesi, 15 years her junior, and with whom she also has a child, in a ceremony officiated by – Tobey Maguire. Yuck. I know we’re all supposed to rejoice at these “blended” families, but frankly the children must find it a little confusing. And I wonder how long the current marriage will last?

Just what we need

Over the last couple of years, it has become increasingly clear that Kemi Badenoch is a pretty strong individual, and now we know why. “I saw real lynch mobs. I saw people killed,” she said of her Nigerian childhood, before comparing the violence to modern cancel culture. Blimey. She sounds exactly like what the country needs just now.

Farewell

And so, a belated farewell to Jeffrey Archer. He was a rogue, and no mistake, but back in the day it was said that people used to dislike Jeffrey Archer until they actually met him. It was the other way around with Ken Livingstone. Stranger than fiction, and all that.

Get even

It is said that Ruth Langford is looking after her soon-to-be ex-husband, Eamonn Holmes, with the help of his first wife, due to serious concerns over the TV presenter’s health. He is one lucky man. When it comes to divorce, no one has ever bettered Ivana Trump’s advice: don’t get mad. Get even.

Quite the pro…

First, Meghan Markle parades in front of Claridge’s in an even ghastlier outfit than usual to, very publicly, embrace the women’s rights activist Malala. Then, about five minutes later, she announces that some of her As Ever brand’s profits will be going to Malala’s charity. Nice to know that As Ever has been making some profits, but while Meghan certainly hasn’t shown discernible talent in most areas of life, when it comes to naked self-serving publicity stunts, she’s quite the pro, no?

This week’s quote

“Whatever you are, be a good one.” – Abraham Lincoln

Leave the tiger alone!

The case of the tiger mauling a man to death in Yorkshire Wildlife Park is utterly tragic, but from what we learn of the details, he must have been mentally ill. Bowing to the tiger and dancing in front of him is not, to put it mildly, normal. But I sincerely hope the tiger will not be put down as a result of this. He must have thought he was under attack, and he reacted the way a wild animal would. The lesson to be learned here is to make it much harder for anyone to get into the pen. Leave the tiger alone.