𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓝𝓮𝔀𝓼

The judge who sentenced ex-SNP chief Peter Murrell to just over five years in clink for his bizarre larceny sounded puzzled as he handed down the sentence this week. “What the hell were you playing at?” was the gist of his lordship’s ruminations. What judge Lord Young actually said, virtually scratching his head beneath his wig in utter bewilderment, was: “In truth, it is very difficult to get a clear picture of what drove your actions. Many of the high value items [you stole] were not even used… I cannot find any factors that caused you to offend.”

It certainly is a weird one. It’s not even as if Murrell is cheerfully unrepentant, like so many defiant thieves are when nabbed. Indeed, his lawyers say that the 61-year-old ex-husband of former Scottish First Minister Nicola Sturgeon is deeply embarrassed by his actions and humiliated by public mockery. Apparently in the months after his original arrest he became a virtual recluse, refusing to speak to anyone and withdrawing into near-silence. And I think there IS an explanation for his actions.

So-called Magpie Syndrome. An attraction to glittery, shiny objects, and an overwhelming compulsion to steal and hoard them. Just look at a random list of things Murrell illicitly collected. Silver Jura watches. Shiny Joseph Joseph tongs. A steel socket set. Silver-topped Montblanc fountain pens.

What is striking is how the things Murrell ordered online varied in value. Some – like those tongs – worth barely a few quid. Others – such as the pens – costing many thousands. Also, he often ordered in bulk, duplicating with an almost crazy compulsion.

Enough with the nannying already!

I totally agree with my husband’s point about the nannying tone adopted by so much of the broadcast media during this heatwave. All that caring, unctuous, un-asked for advice. Yes, amazingly enough we know that opening windows lets a breeze flow, thanks. Yes, incredible though it may seem, we are aware that closing the curtains against direct sunlight helps keep the indoor temperature down. Yes, we get that it’s important to drink lots of water during hot weather. Try telling us something we don’t know.

Mind you, how much worse it is for the French. Their government out-nannied ours this week, with a lofty proclamation banning alcohol at traditional summer festivals across the country. No white wine spritzers. No chilled glasses of rosé. No ice-cold bottles of the local beer, even those tiny, mini-sized ones. Alcohol dehydrates, y’see.

Hmm. Bon chance with that, Monsieur Macron.

Nice if you can…

What to wear in the heatwave and stay stylish? I noticed glamorous novelist Plum Sykes tells The Times she is in Paris this week – hotter even than London – and she’s burned through all her lightest clothes there. So she dashed to Monoprix – France’s answer to M&S – and bought a blue-and-white-striped loose-fitting cotton shirt dress. “I’m wearing it on the train down to St Tropez today,” she adds. How the other half lives, eh?