𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓝𝓮𝔀𝓼

Sir Keir Starmer uttered the immortal line midway through his brazen defence of why he appointed the shamed Peer as his US ambassador against the recommendation of security vetting officials. Did the Prime Minister have a swift half of a well-known Danish lager before his Commons appearance? If Carlsberg did headlines … and all that.

After a few minutes of not me guvvery, Slippery Starmer warbled: “I know many members across the House will find these facts to be incredible, and to that I can only say that they are right.

“It beggars belief that throughout the whole timeline of events, officials in the Foreign Office saw fit to withhold this information from the most senior ministers in our system of government.”

The chamber erupted with cheers and jeers. Never before has this Prime Minister been so spot on.

Tory leader Kemi Badenoch has spent the past few days calling the Labour leader a liar. But she was ready in the Commons, forensically dissecting the PM’s fragile defence with six pre-prepared questions she had shared with her opposite number beforehand.

Veteran MP Diane Abbott hit the nail on the head when she asked her former leader “why didn’t the Prime Minister ask” about Lord Mandelson’s vetting, considering his track record of being sacked during previous Labour governments.

House of Commons rules prevent MPs from accusing one another of telling lies or deliberately misleading one another, so Mr Anderson was asked by Speaker Sir Lindsay Hoyle to withdraw his comments.

The MP for Ashfield replied bluntly: “Mr Speaker, I have the greatest respect for you and your office, but I will not withdraw it. That man couldn’t lie straight in bed.”

He was then kicked out of the Chamber.

With every day that passes, the Prime Minister moves closer towards the exit.