𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓝𝓮𝔀𝓼

What in God’s name was Keir Starmer doing at the COP30 summit in Brazil this week? Trump stayed at home saying he was too busy sorting out America’s problems. A huge number of other world leaders did the same. But our useless PM chose yet again to escape the s***show that Britain has become thanks to him, and go grandstand somewhere he can pretend to be a leader. Doesn’t he get that, thanks to Miliband’s loony policies, he’s a laughing stock?

Britain is the second most expensive country in the world for household electricity – 50% higher than US, 63% higher than France and 27% higher than Germany. But there’s dopey Starmer in Brazil boasting that our zero-carbon policies are an example to the rest of the world when the world is looking at him and Britain as a dire warning of what NOT to do.

NB What the Hell is Tracy Brabin, ex-Corrie actress and now Mayor of West Yorkshire, doing in Brazil at COP30? Taxpayers should not be paying for hangers on like her and Sadiq Khan. And why did 470 people from Britain need to fly to Brazil – that can’t have helped carbon emissions?

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It was Marie Curie’s birthday yesterday. She’s the genius who pioneered research into radiation and won two Nobel prizes. She died in 1934. I tell you this to remind you that when our Deputy Prime minister David Lammy, who disgraced himself at PMQ’s this week by trying to hide information on mistakenly released prisoners, was asked on Mastermind who’d discovered radiation, he said Marie Antoinette – the French queen who was guillotined in1973. Like I keep saying – thick as mince!

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M&S has dropped a Christmas ad featuring White Lotus star Aimee Lou Wood. Good! I never understood the attraction of this very average actress, hailed a star for no other reason I could see than the fact she had a big gap in her front teeth.

Wood is ordinary, she’s irritating (don’t ask me why, she just is) and she’d have zero appeal to M&S shoppers.

However, M&S has chosen to feature the despicable Dawn French who caused nationwide revulsion when, in a stupid babyish voice, she mocked the October 7 Hamas attack on Israel.

Does the company have a death wish? French’s vile rant will cost them sales – and they’ll deserve it.

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When, after the next election Angela Rayner and Rachel Reeves are looking for new careers, they could team up and start a new business – Reeves and Rayner Estate Agents. They could advise people how not to come a cropper over pesky little things like stamp duty and letting licences.

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I’m no fan of Andrew (Mountbatten Windsor). In fact, it’s fair to say I think he’s an entitled, arrogant, wazzock who has mostly got what he deserved. However, it started to feel a bit lynch-mobby this week when there was talk of taking away his Falklands Medal.

OK, it’s fine to strip him of all his Prince-y titles and those he was given by dint of his birthright. But the indisputable fact is he had a 22-year naval career during which time he did genuinely dangerous work in the Falklands war as Sea King helicopter pilot.

For that he was awarded the South Atlantic Medal with an additional rosette for undertaking operational sorties. To give that perspective, only 33,000 of those medals were issued and just 3,300 included a rosette. And Andrew got one.

Buckingham Palace has now confirmed it won’t be taking away his Falklands medal which is the right decision. Because yes, he’s an arrogant idiot, a fool and probably many other things. But whatever he is – let’s not pretend he didn’t serve his country. Because he did – and with distinction!

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Prince Harry has written a 645-word essay on how much he loves Britain. Really? This is the Harry who fled Britain in a fit of pique shouting that we were all racists. He then told Oprah (and the world) his family were racists, too.

He called the flight on which he left Britain his “Freedom flight” and, for years, he’s talked about how everyone here is out to get him. Oh, and he couldn’t live here because it was dangerous.

Now, suddenly, Britain is amazing. So why the change of heart? Could it be because he now has no way of making money in the US, having sold every cough and spit on his family?

So, he’s looking at the next 20 years with nothing useful to do and suddenly Blighty is looking attractive again – hence the meeting with King Charles and his increasingly frequent visits here to do charity stuff. And now a love letter about Britain.

Sorry, but this essay, supposedly to pay homage to Britain ahead of Remembrance Day, smacks of a calculated PR exercise to help him worm his way back here. Newsflash! We don’t want him.