𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓝𝓮𝔀𝓼

Not content with destroying this country’s internal economy, Keir Starmer is now intent on demolishing this country’s international standing as well. First, we had the disastrous business with the Chagos Islands, which seems to have been based entirely on the fact that David Lammy disapproves of colonialism and is trying to dismantle what remains of the British Empire.

It not only totally disregards the wishes of the actual Chagos islanders, but has put the wind up the people of the Falklands as well. And then the PM ignores the request of President Trump to allow the US military to use UK military bases, prompting a huge row, public abuse (rightly) from The Donald – “we’re not dealing with Churchill here” – and the inevitable climbdown. Just when it seemed it couldn’t get any worse, President Macron seizes the opportunity to look statesmanlike, while Starmer gives every appearance of wanting to hide behind the sofa. This has got to stop.

The PM and his useless, economically illiterate band of teenage socialists are making this country into a laughing stock. Britain’s aircraft carrier HMS Prince of Wales may need a French escort if she sails to the Middle East because we haven’t got enough warships to do it ourselves. France steps up to defend Cyprus, saying: “When Cyprus is attacked, it is Europe that is attacked.”

We look pathetic, weak and unprepared, snubbing our greatest ally and then rushing to hide in the skirts of the US because we haven’t got the means to look after ourselves.

The character of a country is dictated by the character of its leader. Margaret Thatcher had a tendency to walking into a room looking as if she wanted to take on every individual in it. Starmer practically crawls in, such is the absence of spine.

And yet still he clings on to power: for the love of Heaven, why? He looks as if he’s hating every minute of it. He should put himself and us out of his misery now.

And who was behind the disastrous decision to deny the US access to UK military bases in the first place? Ed Miliband. It is a mark of how useless, clueless and out of touch this Government is that Miliband is in such a position of influence. This, despite the fact that in 2015, the voters made it pretty clear what they thought of Ed.

One of the reasons politics across the board is in such a mess is because the two main parties refuse to listen to the voters. And now they’re actually talking about him as a future Labour leader. Ed Miliband could be the man who finishes off democracy in this country for good.

Thylane Blondeau, once dubbed “the most beautiful girl in the world” by Vogue Enfants, has been showing off her ring following her engagement to French DJ boyfriend Ben Attal.

She’s still very beautiful as an adult, and I wish them all the happiness in the world. Great beauty can be a curse as much as a blessing, and I devoutly hope hers is the latter, not the former. Look what happened to Jerry Hall.

Nadiya Hussain has launched yet another attack on the BBC, which, in a rare moment of sound judgement, decided last year it could live without her.

Having previously accused it of racism, she is now saying Auntie was more concerned with her appearance than her recipes. Yes, love, it’s television, and appearance is important. Just ask Nigella Lawson.

Nadiya had 10 years in the Beeb limelight, and the more cynical among us might think that she would never have lasted so long had she not ticked quite a few boxes in that organisation’s woke agenda. She should accept that she got lucky and bow out gracefully.

Samuel Johnson said: “Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.” Now it’s playing the racism card.

A new report reveals that Britons have left as much as £6.5billion in their wills to their dogs, in order to look after them.

Quite right too! I’m a cat person, though, and would think long and hard about leaving anything to our two adorable little Burmese.

Something tells me they’d just squander it on catnip and high living – up on the rooftops, that is. Meow!

Reading the reports about the death of Ian Huntley, I realised with a jolt that those two little girls, Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman, would have been 34 now.

There is no explaining his evil wickedness. Even now, you think of those two little girls’ families, and weep.

A new poll has shown that the vast majority of people prefer single sex loos and changing rooms, with 81% saying loos in parks and pubs should be single sex and a whopping 86% saying the same about showers and changing rooms at work.

The only surprise is that it’s not even more. And you know what? I’m betting that pretty much all of those people also believe that your gender is the one you were born into, and not the one on which you decide.

ITV’s political editor Robert Peston has been pictured in garish red trainers and a bizarre collection of knuckleduster rings. You want the definition of a midlife crisis? It’s looking you in the face.

Could one unexpected outcome from the war in the Middle East be the beginning of the end of the “influencers”? They’re not exactly performing at their best in a crisis.

Luisa Zissman, who relocated to Dubai last year, has returned to London and lost no time in moaning she was “in my refugee era, displaced from my home”.

Roughly translated, this means she’s living in luxury in the UK as opposed to living in luxury in the UAE, not an option open to most real refugees who are forced to leave their war-torn countries. Hasn’t Luisa and all of the rest of them delighted us enough?

“A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way” – Mark Twain