𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓝𝓮𝔀𝓼

It’s been a while since I had a good laugh – but that’s when the Labour Party kindly stepped in. Scrolling through X the other day I spotted a tweet that almost made me choke on my tea. In fact, I was so tickled by it I had to do some due diligence and check it wasn’t an April Fool’s. “This Labour government is the most working-class government in the history of the UK,” was the proud proclamation.

What?!Firstly, who the hell cares? Most of us couldn’t care less if you’re from a council house or a castle. What matters is that you can actually do the job. Sadly, given the Labour Cabinet can barely run a bath, bragging about their backgrounds seems to be all they’ve got left. They’re more concerned with talking about being working-class than delivering for those of us who actually head out to work each day.

Take Bridget Phillipson – so impressed with the statement that she retweeted it to her followers. Of course she did. She is a great example of the kind of politician who clings to such labels. Bridget has often leaned on her working-class background to bolster her credentials with the Labour crowd. And, to be fair, she worked hard, defied the odds and made it to Oxford. Good for her. Wouldn’t you think that she’d want to see other children from similar backgrounds follow in her footsteps? Apparently not.

Where I live in Middlesbrough, just down the road from her hometown, she unceremoniously pulled the plug on a brilliant project that would have seen bright working-class kids attend a brand-new, free-to-attend Eton college in the town to secure places at top universities.

Then there is her nasty crusade against private schools – punishing parents who work every hour God sends to give their children opportunities they didn’t have. With Labour, you see, it’s not good enough to be working class, you have to be the right kind of working class. Not the kind who dares to aspire.

Then there’s Angela Rayner. She’s another one who hangs her hat on her roots. But again – I care less about where you’re from and more about what you’re doing now. Her brainchild, the Workers’ Rights Bill, certainly sounds impressive. But in reality, it’ll punish the very people Labour claims to champion.

For small business owners who help keep the country ticking, it will mean more red tape, higher costs and “day one” rights which will make it harder to hire the right people, or get rid of the ones not pulling their weight.

It would also help somewhat if Keir Starmer could explain what a working-class person is. For Sir Keir, it’s one of those impossible questions that endlessly blows up in his face.

The sad truth is that since Labour took the keys to Number 10, fewer people are in work and they’ve presided over a soaring benefits bill. That isn’t looking after the working class – it’s letting them down in the worst possible way. And no amount of tweeting will change that.

Japan is a winning team – in more ways than one

Regular readers of this column will know my absolute hatred of those who litter. As a councillor – and a “Karen” according to my teenagers – I’m one of those people who has no issue whatsoever with telling a litter lout to “pick it up”.

So it warmed my heart the other day to see the Japanese football fans who’d made the trip to Wembley cleaning up the stadium after their victory over England. Hundreds of them stayed behind and diligently picked up discarded rubbish from the entire ground.

Bravo to them. We’d do well to take a leaf out of their book.

Talking accents

I had a fun new challenge last week – presenting our fabulous Daily Expresso podcast. The guests were both great. I had the pleasure of interviewing Mark Dolan, who wrote his first guest column for this very paper on Easter Monday, and Duncan Barkes, a long-time broadcaster who I chatted with about the embarrassing state of the UK’s military defences.

But my Middlesbrough accent had a few people curious about its origins. At 44, speaking the Queen’s English is less likely than teaching me ballet – so I think it’s here to stay. And to be honest, I wouldn’t have it any other way.