𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓝𝓮𝔀𝓼

And so it was, another rollercoaster journey came to a premature end this week with tears aplenty. A familiar tale of promising so much, yet failing to deliver when it matters most. Yes, the final whistle has been blown on Keir Starmer’s time as Labour leader. They think it’s all over, it is now.

He will remain as Prime Minister for one final weekend before leaving No 10 on Monday morning when, the King of the North, Andy ‘Manchesterism’ Burnham swaggers through the famous black door. Like countless England teams before, Burnham is promising to do things differently, to rewire the system and change the DNA. As with the Three Lions, I’ve heard it countless times before and it always ends in the same way.

Sir Keir’s final week at the helm trod a familiar path. He was never here. On Monday he was rubbing shoulders with European leaders in Paris, staying overnight so he could celebrate Bastille Day with his buddy Emmanuel Macron.

For good measure the French President Macron gave Sir Keir the Legion d’Honneur – an honour created by Napoleon – in recognition of his “decency” and commitment to European Security. It comes as no surprise. Sir Keir’s push to unpick Brexit has endeared him to president Macron and the two men have also worked closely on securing a peace deal for Ukraine.

On Wednesday he bade farewell to his political career in an emotional PMQs and there was barely a dry eye in the house. From where I was sitting in the House of Commons press gallery I could see Rachel Reeves in tears while a few other Cabinet members turned on the waterworks, as did countless Labour backbenchers.

Carolyn Harris was so upset she could barely speak when asking Sir Keir his final ever question as Prime Minister. It was an incredibly emotional PMQs, the first since the tragic death of former Conservative MP Ann Widdecombe.

Sir Keir paid tribute, while sadly pointing out that she was the third former or sitting MP to have been killed in the 11 years since he entered parliament. As his wife Lady Starmer and their two children watched from the Commons’ gallery, the PM also said he believed the country is in a better place because of his government.

Watching proceedings high up in the packed press gallery was Game of Thrones actress Maisie Williams, a guest of the Express. The epic fantasy TV show is one of betrayal, sexual encounters and the fight for power, rather similar to British politics.

After signing off with sentimental words about his family Sir Keir was given a standing ovation and round of applause by Labour MPs as he left the Chamber. Those same MPs who betrayed him to get Burnham into power.

The stench of hypocrisy stank the House out.

“Never here Keir” managed to rack up one more trip on Thursday, visiting Volodymyr Zelensky in Ukraine. It turns out that football-fanatic Sir Keir watched England’s frustrating defeat to Argentina on the train from Poland to war-torn Ukraine.

Burnham, meanwhile, was being interviewed by Gary Lineker for a podcast. It’s a salient point as he will become prime minister on Monday having taken public questions recently from one radio host, an ex-footballer, social media users and some of the good people of Cardiff.

In place of media scrutiny, Burnham has continued to do his own press – releasing a video on TikTok setting out his likes and dislikes. It turns out he is against people leaving football matches early … loud music on public transport … and having Yorkshire pudding with Christmas dinner.

He also promoted putting in the milk first when making tea as “it softens the teabag”. See you all next week when the new rollercoaster begins its journey!