𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓝𝓮𝔀𝓼

It’s the French Farce with seemingly no end: the obscene amounts of cash that have been sent across the English Channel to try and resolve the migrant crisis. And the scheme’s inherent absurdity was highlighted last week when Conservative politician Chris Philp decided to visit some of the camps to discover for himself what was going on … or more accurately, NOT going on!

Having tracked a group of around 80 mostly young male, would-be asylum seekers across a beach close to Boulogne, Shadow Home Secretary Philp stayed with them as a dinghy came into sight and people started climbing aboard. At that point Philp turned to the heavily armed French police, or Gendarmes, and asked one why they were taking no action and merely looking on.

“Our order is to let them go,” one replied in broken English.

And there, in one sentence, is what British taxpayers have got in return for the more than £1 billion that has been spent to supposedly improve and increase the number of migrants being prevented from making the treacherous crossings that claimed an additional four lives last week.

Supporters of the scheme can point to the fact the number of crossings is down by around 40% compared with the same period last year, but that is to gloss over the catastrophically inept value for money the actually represents.

It’s important to remember this Anglo-French cooperation was started under the previous Conservative government when it sent £476 million to Paris in 2023, but the lunacy was swiftly exposed the next year when the number of arrivals soared by 25% to over 36,000.

The year after that, 2025, it jumped again to over 41,000 people.

Faced with this litany of failure it was of course only natural this administration would seek to renew it, and this time managed to splurge even more cash doing so!

The Home Secretary agreed a deal that will send £660 million to France until 2029 with no stipulations attached, taking the total amount that has been, or will be sent over six years to north of £1 BILLION.

All of which makes Prime Minister Andy Burnham’s assertion last week that the migrants’ plan “is working” even more risible.

Are we really to believe that this hugely contentious issue was never raised on the doorsteps of Makerfield just a few weeks ago?

And isn’t it fascinating that in the wealth of policy announcements over the last couple of weeks that has included everything from ending rough sleeping and cutting energy bills to helping the pub trade and setting up a social care system, there has not been one word on this problem.

Instead, we have a series of ministers insisting everything is going to plan as the number of crossings has been down for last month (July) while in truth neatly avoiding the fact that is solely down to adverse wind conditions. Now the tide has turned (literally), around 1,000 arrived on one day last week! And still nothing is done to tackle the patently obvious “draw” factor that the UK provides with the potential lifestyle it offers.

As the migrant crisis touches so many other issues affecting our daily lives, from housing and education to the NHS and even law and order, the Burnham Policy Blitz must address this failing French Connection.

Time to get real

The ‘Storm in a T-shirt’ row involving Zack Polanski’s appalling lack of judgement in passing on an image that supported the possible beheading of Nigel Farage has finally blown itself out. The police say no action is to be taken against anyone who re-posted the image, although the sporting of the shirt should be recorded as a crime.

Anyone agree the moral of this tale is we need politicians who spend less time online and more time on seeking solutions?

The good, the bad and the ugly

Good news: the PM has plans. Bad news: we’ll know the details in October!

Slipping out

While this extraordinarily attractive woman could bring style and panache to wearing a bin liner, Margot Robbie’s decision to go shopping in Paris last week wearing nothing but a negligee (or ‘slip’ as the fashion industry now describes them) obviously attracted considerable attention.

But here’s a couple of thoughts.

Firstly, as much of Europe is baking in a virtually unprecedented heatwave, it’s fair to question whether this will be the attire of choice come December.

And secondly, if I were to step out in my Wee Willy Winky pyjamas to pop to Sainsbury’s, could I count on the same level of acclaim?

Big own goal

When even disgraced former football supremo Sepp Blatter questions the morality of the supposed ‘World Cup For Sale’ deal, you know it must be bad!

What a waste!

A bursary – or bung – to parents of children with a range of physical or emotional disabilities to the tune of £4,500 to stop them dissuading their children to take up a job or apprenticeship. A criminally lax system that allowed the government advisor researching the social care system to qualify for benefits even though, as she readily admitted, her health meant she was not deserving of them.

What further proof is needed to show our benefits and welfare system – with a combined cost of £333 billion a year – is totally out of control?

Just go, Glasto

As highlighted on this page last month, those BBC cuts just keep on coming. Time to say farewell to Blankety Blank, Live at the Apollo and Celebrity Mastermind.

But – at the THIRD time of asking – can we be told if there will be any cuts in Glastonbury coverage?