This is what British politics will look like in 2036 – it’s enough to terrify everyone | Politics | News
Dear reader, imagine for a moment itโs 2036. Artificial Intelligence has taken over the planet and humanity is on the brink of extinction. Global political institutions are no more. International business has completely broken down.
El Nino is now Papรก grande, slowly baking Earth into submission. Crime is rife. Itโs a Wild West out there folks. The Terminators are running amok.
The United Kingdom is a shell of its former self. The halcyon years of the 2020s are a distant memory.
As British humans count down the clock to the inevitable, not even their heroes of yesteryear are able to help.
Andy โWelfare not Warfareโ Burnham, the ex PM and eternal optimist, has completely given up hope in his Manchester home for former homeless Prime Ministers – in what used to be known as No 10 North.
Nigel Farage, the one-time President of Britain, is hiding out in a fading amusement arcade, complete with retro Bitcoin pushers, in Clacton.
The โCrypto Palaceโ, funded by the last few thousand pounds of his infamous ยฃ72 million 2026 donation, once regarded as a bastion of hope in the battle against the AI establishment. Alas, no more.
Another former UK leader – Kemi Badenoch – is making a last stand against the bots from her South Atlantic outpost, formerly known as the Falkland Islands.
News of the whereabouts of other icons from the last decade are scarce.
Ed Davey was last spotted three years ago doing his well-worn clown routine with the online Cirque du Anthropic.
But nothing has been heard from Zack Polanski since he won, then lost the St Pancras and Holborn by-election because of โoilgateโ – the scandal where it turns out the former Green Party leader was secretly profiteering from North Sea reserves.
Rumours that he was spotted caddying for the two-time US and one-time Irish President Donald Trump on his Chagos Island golf course have never been proven.
Of course, there are still 10 years to go before we get to this stage but, politicians, please wake up before itโs too late.
The warning signs are flashing brighter than ever.
